Reconstructing My Life

Yesterday, I saw my family doctor as a follow up to some medication changes he recently made.  I'm doing just fine in that department.  He wants to do another blood panel in 4 months.  He seemed very pleased at the last results .... about $100 came out of my pocket for it.  So, one more, then I'm putting my foot down.

Today, I saw my oncologist for my 3 month check up.  She asked if I had my colonoscopy screening set up since I'm now "of age" .... Should of had it last year when I turned 50, but I was busy!  Now that I turned 51 last week, guess I should put it on my calendar.  She asked if there were any relatives who had colon cancer.  I don't think so. 

She asked about the neuropathy, the pain.  And I asked about the weight gain and fatigue.  You will NEVER believe what she said! Eat right and Exercise! Imagine that!

 

Questions for doc

As usual, I had my written questions next to me.  She would look them over and answer them during the examination. 

* Since I'm taking estrogen blockers, why not just yank my one and only ovary and be done with it.  She said NO. Leave it as is.  (anybody know why? I got side tracked and forgot to ask)

* Should I get reconstructive surgery?  I really didn't care either way (nor does my husband).  But as time is going on,

my girls are getting more and more unbalanced.

Not my daughters, the other "girls"

She recommended the procedure and also recommended a plastic surgeon.  My sister heard great things about this doctor, so I will begin making plans.

That's all I can remember at this time.

All our prayers for the Boston people and the visitors from all over the world that were there during the heart-shattering chaos.  Prayers for the first responders, the people who began caring for the victims and each other ... for the families of lost loved ones and those who were injured. 

This world is broken .... ask God to hold you, give you comfort and amazing grace ~

Resurrection Sunday

A beautiful day today ~

It started with an endearing church service.  The children are so darling and they are always a part of the service.  Today was even more special than normal.

Then, we spent time at my sister's house with the family.  Not all of our loved ones were there, as our youngsters have moved to other states.  Thank goodness for video chat and cell phones!

God is our refuge and strength, a ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Psalm 42:5

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

CureSearch Children's Cancer

Researcher Looks for Link Between Protein and Hodgkin lymphoma Maxwell Krem, MD, PhD, from The University of Washington strives to treat his patients as he would want to be treated, delivering state-of-the-art medical therapy. He hopes that his research will lead to targeted therapies. Read more Little Girl's Memory Lives on Through Family's Determination Sheridan Bautista was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at the age of seven. Doctors found a tumor located above her left knee that encompassed 75% of her femur. She immediately started chemotherapy. Read more Resilience in Adolescent and Young Adults During & After Cancer Treatment When an adolescent is diagnosed with cancer, their future is daunting, not only because of the cancer itself, but also because of the unique aspects of psychological and social development that occur during the teenage years. Read more 2013 CureSearch Walk Dates The 2013 CureSearch Walk season is underway! Join CureSearch at one of our upcoming Walks as we honor and remember those affected by children's cancer. These very special days will include prizes, music, food, and fun activities for the entire family! For a full list, click here. Save the Date – 2013 Childhood Cancer Action Day in Washington, DC CureSearch for Children's Cancer, a member of the Alliance for Childhood Cancer, is pleased to announce that this year's Childhood Cancer Action Day in Washington, DC is scheduled for June 17-18, 2013. Read more Ultimate Hike Dates Experience an adventure and help CureSearch by taking the Ultimate Hike challenge! Join CureSearch at one of our 11 upcoming hikes across the country. Each trail will provide a significant challenge no matter the level of hike experience. To find a hike near you, click here.

Strokes and Chemo

The past week has been very busy ... starting with last Friday.  On my way home from work, I received a message from my sister that mom called and wanted to go to ER.  She was having trouble with her vision.  Since I was right down the street and sis just got home from chemo treatment, I headed over to take care of the situation. 

Got mom to the ER and she was taken back pretty quickly.  She described her symptoms to different nurses who asked her the same questions.  Then a doctor came in for some eye hand motor tests.  Doc ordered an EKG, a chest x-ray and a cat scan.  About 4-1/2 hours later, they admitted her for observation.  We got her settled in her room and ordered dinner (about 9:30), as she hadn't eaten since I picked her up. 

Saturday, they ordered an MRI as the cat scan was inclusive.  The MRI showed that she had a stroke located in the back of her head behind her left ear.  It surprised a lot of us because she did not have any paralysis.  (that's good)  Mom has 100% blockage on one side of her neck and 70% blockage on the other side.  They kept her Sunday and released her Monday afternoon, with a whole list of doctors to follow up with.

During the same time, Christie was dealing with the side effects from the Taxol.  Another infection, slight fever and pain.  Stupid canzer!

Early Detection for Pancreatic Cancer

http://www.forbes.com/sites/bruceupbin/2012/06/18/wait-did-this-15-year-old-from-maryland-just-change-cancer-treatment/

A friend of mine sent this article to me.  I sure do hope this gives a big jump to early detection for pancreatic cancer.  The comments from readers are always interesting.

My Father-in-law

The one year anniversary of the loss of my father-in-law is upon us.  How did a whole year go by already?  Matt is still trying to deal with the loss and my heart aches for him.    What happens if you die on Feb 29

I heard a message on the radio that said "If you think you are in the land of the living, you got it all wrong.  We are in the land of the dying and it is in heaven where we will live for eternity." Dr Hendricks was married for 66 years and has been celebrated for his many years of service with Moody.  What a legacy ~  I hope Pa is visiting with him now

Dr. Howard Hendricks is With the Lord

---

February 22, 2013

Dr. Howard Hendricks beloved teacher, speaker and author, passed away on Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2013. Dr. Hendricks was the co-author with his son William of the best-selling books Living By the Book, and As Iron Sharpens Iron.

"Moody Publishers, along with the family and friends of Howard Hendricks, are saddened by the news of his passing," said Greg Thornton, senior vice president, Moody Media. "We will greatly miss Dr. Hendricks, his humor, and especially his tremendous ability to communicate truth through his speaking, teaching and writing. We mourn his loss but rejoice in knowing he’s with our Savior." 

A wonderful tribute has been developed by the Dallas Theological Seminary, which can be viewed here.

Please pray God’s comfort on Howard’s wife Jeanne, four children including son and co-author Bill Hendricks, six grandchildren and two great grandchildren

http://www.moodypublishers.com/pub_newsDetail.aspx?id=104910

Lymphedema After Breast Cancer Surgery

Denise shared a very interesting post regarding Lymphedema http://denise4health.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/learning-to-live-with-lymphedema/#comments

So, I’m on the path of learning what I can about it.  This is from WebMD.com

 

Save This Article For Later

{fontSizerContenLymphadema is related to the functioning of the lymphatic system, which helps the immune system fight off infection and clears debris from the body. Here's how the lymphatic system works:

·       Excess fluid is collected from the space between tissues in the body and moves through the lymph vessels. The fluid (now called lymph) isn't pumped through the body like blood, but instead is "pushed" through the lymph system as the vessels are compressed by surrounding muscles.

·       Filters called lymph nodes remove certain harmful substances from the lymph fluid, such as bacteria and debris. The fluid from most tissues or organs is filtered through one or more lymph nodes before draining into the bloodstream.

What Is Lymphedema?

Lymphedema is an abnormal buildup of fluid that causes swelling, most often in the arms or legs. The condition develops when lymph vessels or lymph nodes are missing, impaired, damaged, or removed.

There are two types of lymphedema: primary and secondary.
Primary lymphedema is rare and is caused by the absence of, or abnormalities in, certain lymph vessels at birth.

Secondary lymphedema occurs as a result of a blockage or interruption that alters the flow of lymph through the lymphatic system. It may develop from an infection, cancer, surgery, scar tissue formation, trauma, deep vein thrombosis (a blood clot in a vein), radiation, or other cancer treatment.

Results From The Family Doctor

Yesterday I had my follow-up visit with my family doctor to discuss the blood work he ordered.  He was so pleased with the results that I could hang it on my refrigerator! Well, I won't go that far ....

The iron, vit D, vit B12, all good - no issues with thyroid, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and a bunch of other items from the panel were good.  The only thing I need to work on is my cholesterol.  Not bad enough to control with medicine, but I need to make changes to my diet, get more exercise. 

 

Everything all of us need to do.

The changes he made in my blood pressure meds seems to be doing the trick.  Not getting those crazy dizzy spells, flashes and stuff now.  Still adjusting the depression meds.  It's hard for most people to tell that I am on that stuff because I don't show most people that side.  I don't even know if I'm really truly depressed (if that makes sense) because I've worked through a lot of issues the past 13 months.  My sadness is what he called "situational".  That is true. 

I brought up the issue of the lump at the back of my knee.  Had it since last November.  He is convinced that it is ligament related. An MRI would tell.  He recommended anti-inflammatory and overall gentle exercise.

Follow-up in two months ~

Update on Christie

I would like to request prayer for my sister, Christie.  She spent a long time in ER Saturday night and today is no better.  This evening, it was difficult to gauge whether or not to get her back in ER again. 

She is fighting an infection and has a slight fever.  However, those slight fevers are just brimming below the mark 100.9 ...... the mark of when we are told to seek medical attention. 

Their experience with the ER on 2 other occasions were horrible.  I can't believe that as a cancer patient, she had to stay in the ER where all the germs are!  That is NOT what our oncologist told us.  We are to be whisked straight up to the oncology floor!

Please pray for healing, comfort and that the fever and infection are controlled.

Thank you ~

The Friendly Family Doctor

I have finally made an appointment to see my family doctor ~ scheduled for tomorrow.  I have only seen him once since my diagnosis of bc.  I thought it would be a good idea to have him look at my blood count to see if I'm lacking in iron or any other deficiencies.  Trust me, I'm tired of doctors, tests and needles. But that's just it, I'm tired. 

So, I plan to start with a blood work up and then discuss all the aches and pains I have been experiencing before cancer and after.  Starting from my feet to the top of my head.  Sound radical?  Nope. Not really. 

Remember when I got the MRI on my back and Doc said I had a pinched nerve and some degenerative stuff going on?  Well, nothing as been done for that and I can't stand long enough to wash my dishes or shop the grocery store without tremendous pain.

Remember the pain behind my knee and pea sized bump?  Gonna ask about that too.

I had a terrible episode the other night that brought me to my knees.  My blood pressure was sky high, so I'll be talking to him about my meds........ALL my meds.  Hope to discontinue what my body doesn't need anymore.

So, that's the short list! 

In other news, my Uncle Bobby went home to be with the Lord yesterday.  My heart breaks for my Aunt and my cousins.  Rest in Peace ~

I want my brain back!

 

I'm extremely curious about http://www.lumosity.com/

I want to get back in the game!  back in life! back in work! 

 

I want my brain back!

Got this from my new found blogging friend Denise http://denise4health.wordpress.com/


I'll keep you posted :)

Chronic Fatigue

Have you ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired?  Have you ever wondered if people are sick and tired of you complaining about being sick and tired? 

 

Well, that's me in a nutshell. 

You would think that after declaring that I'm "cancer-free", it would all be "okay" by now.  After all, the treatments are done.

And I'm still not feeling 100% and I'm still really, really tired.

There are probably things that I should be doing to help myself through this process of recovery. 

Eating better
Exercising
Do I need more iron?
I could use some sunshine for sure
Less stress?

What the heck is WRONG WITH ME?

Introduction to Breast Cancer

Article from Health Monitor Fall 2012

Learning that you have breast cancer can, quite literally, stop you in your tracks. You may feel frozen in time, replaying over and over again in your mind the moment your doctor told you the news. It's normal to feel a wide range of emotions—fear, shock, depression, anger and even guilt.

Slow down, take a moment and breathe. The emotions you are feeling are completely understandable. And if you are feeling nothing, that's OK, too. Oftentimes, when a woman hears the diagnosis "breast cancer," she goes temporarily numb.

Take comfort, though, in knowing that, as of 2010, there are more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S. Experts report that the death rate from breast cancer has been decreasing since 1991, due to public awareness, earlier detection and advances in treatment.

The truth is, there is nothing fair about breast cancer. But you can find plenty of help and reasons for hope. Turn to your family and friends. Choose a healthcare team you trust. Prepare for a battle and be strong.

http://www.healthmonitor.com/womens-health/breast-cancer/living-breast-cancer

Names of Survivors

My sister has a wonderful idea for a project.  She is asking for a list of names of breast cancer survivors.  I got side tracked, like I normally do, and read a few of these googled articles .....

Pink Warriors

Kate Jackson

Celebrities - Breast Cancer

Simplifying My Life

January 15, 2013 was my appointment with Doc Esther, my medical oncologist.   This was to be my official parting of the ways.

I was reading a book as I waited to be called in.  Something not cancer related.  The nurse took me to one of the exam rooms to take my vitals.  As she did so, she asked me what the numbers 316 meant that was written on my bracelet. 

"It's a Bible verse."
"Can you tell me what it says?" she asked.
"Are you sure?" She said she was.

I then spoke the words ~

John 3:16

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Mind you, this was the first time a stranger asked me point blank about the bible or anything related to God.  My heart was overflowing to be able to say that out loud to a person who actually gave me permission to tell them words from the bible.

Then, she was gone .... and in walked Doc Esther.  She booted up my medical records on the computer and said

I'm going to simplify your life

She said my team of doctors collaborated and decided that patients only needed to get the final clearance from one of them (not all 3).  She asked me if I had appointments to follow up with my surgeon and I said yes, March 5.  And my radiologist?  I said yes, March 6. 

"Cancel them, you don't need to see them."

After the exam, I followed her to the nurses station as she wrote a script for me and instructions for my next visit in 3 months.

I gave her a hug and said "thank you for saving my life" and she said

I was just the recipe maker

As I left, I decided to walk thru the treatment area to find some angel nurses .... I found nurses Karen and Regina and got some heartfelt hugs.  I came to a stop in the waiting room as a woman caught my attention.  She was wearing a hat and holding her husband's hand.  I laid my things on the chair near them and put my coat on.  I wished I could just sit down and talk to her. Instead, I said "I just finished a year of treatment.  I'm all done!" She smiled and said "congratulations".  I replied, "There is hope."

My journey is done ..... now, I just need to focus on gaining my strength back and getting my body cleansed of all the chemo drugs.  This will take some time, I'm sure.  Isn't that a thought? 

Time is what I now have back.


Thanks to my heavenly maker and my recipe maker ~

Unapologetic

I've spent the last week concerned about my sister, Christie.  Now, I just got my hair back and she is gonna turn it gray! 

We are all keeping a sharp eye on missy now!

I think this was a lesson to all of us, but especially for her.  Each of us knows our own bodies best and when it is feeling bad, especially chemo patients, we got to recognize it for what it is and get help. 

Unapologetic

 

 

For patients everywhere:

 

• Are you worried about being a nuisance?
• Think you are calling the doctor's office too many times?
• Feeling like a hypochondriac?
• Don't want to rock the boat?

 

 

 

Get over it!

Call the doctor!!

 

You have my permission ....

ok, ok, give yourself permission!

 



Prayers for Christie

Christie was admitted to the hospital yesterday and will stay in for another night.  She is getting a much needed dose of hydration and TLC. 

Happy New Year!

While the rest of the world celebrates New Year's Eve, my husband and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary.  This year is definitely more special, as our gift to each other is my life. 

So today represents the end of a difficult year, but a year that has been full of blessings.

It represents a deep love of husband and wife.  We are still as mushy, romantic as ever .... he still opens the car door for me.
 
And, the fact that I'm a cancer survivor.  I am still wrapping my brain around that one.  The anvil is still over my head and it will probably take time for that feeling to subside.

I don't think that my life will now be a bed of roses, but I sure have learned a lot about myself and the people that are in my circle.  Most of all, I have learned so much about what faith really means in our broken world. 

Last year, I had made a new year's resolution of de-cluttering.  Thanks to my daughter and husband, they were key in making this happen.  Now, it seems that I want a more substantial proclamation.  I have been praying about it and I'm close to putting it into words.

Until then, my friends, may this day be safe, happy, fun, light-hearted, loving, inspired, and may you find many blessings in the new year to come!

Celebrating the Holidays Despite a Cancer Diagnosis

It is my pleasure to post this message

from a husband and wife who wanted to share

their experience with you ~

By: Cameron Von St James

My wife gave birth to our only child, Lily, in August of 2005. We were already looking forward to the joy that the winter holidays would bring. I have always looked forward to the opportunity to spend the holidays celebrating with the ones I love. I have always been thankful for being blessed with so many amazing people in my life. Heather and I had already started talking about the holiday traditions we wanted to pass on to our little one, and the new ones we would start as a family.

Unfortunately, our holiday spirit and excitement were stamped out just three days before Thanksgiving, when Heather was diagnosed with cancer. Our daughter was less than four months old at the time of the diagnosis. We learned that Heather had malignant pleural mesothelioma, and in an instant our focus shifted from turkey and holiday shopping to fighting a rare and very deadly form of cancer.

I was filled with anger and fear after the diagnosis. Everything that had seemed so positive, everything I seemed so sure about disappeared in an instant. I tried my best to remain positive and hopeful, but my mind went straight to fearing for the worst. I had thoughts of losing my wife and growing old as a single father. I felt that I had little to be thankful for that year.

Despite the horrible news, we did have a Thanksgiving and Christmas celebration with my wife’s family. The family discussed all the ways they would support us in this trying time.  I had been dreading this discussion for days.  We talked about money and childcare. Heather and I had previously both been working, but we were now reduced to living on my income alone, and the diagnosis brought with it a wealth of unexpected expenses that we were not equipped to handle.  Heather’s parents went through our finances with us and helped us figure out what we could liquidate to stay afloat, as well as what they could afford to help us pay for.  I was mortified and embarrassed, and once again I felt that I had nothing to be thankful for. It would be years before I could look back on that day with anything but shame.

Now, however, I can see how very mistaken I was to look at it that way.  Looking back, I can see how truly blessed we were to have such a strong and loving family supporting us through our tough time.  My pride and my fear blinded me to that at the time, but now I can see how very much I had to be thankful for that season.

This holiday season, I will not let go of that memory of our family gathered around, communicating and helping each other. I will keep in mind everything that I have to be thankful for. I have more than many people will ever have; I am surrounded by kindness, love and good friends. Lily is healthy and as usual, this year will revolve around surrounding her with fun holiday traditions.

In the end, with the love and support of our incredible community of friends and family, Heather beat her mesothelioma. She beat all the odds stacked against her, and we have celebrated numerous holidays together since her diagnoses. We are looking forward to many more together in the future.  We hope that our story of success can help all those currently fighting cancer find something in their lives to be thankful for this holiday season.

Husband of Mesothelioma Survivor Heather Von St. James
Read more:  
http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/

Christmas Eve

 

Christmas Eve ~ a special night

Candlelight service at 8pm with special music, sermon and communion.

The reason for the season

Sunday service was special as the children and choir presented a Christmas play.  They did a fabulous, fabulous job.  I wish we can do an encore!

Here is a picture of the manger (none of the children, not on public web)

 

May this Christmas bring blessings and deep peace to you and yours!

Prayer

I created a form on my blog for folks who would like me to pray for them. 

 

I'm a prayer warrior!

If you would like me to pray for you, just click on the image on my side bar, or you can click on the praying hands below.

Once you click on the praying hands, it brings up this form:

Your message comes directly to my e-mail.  Your request is private and I do not put it on my blog, or facebook etc.  I ask for your e-mail so I can type out my prayer and send it directly to you. 

For me, prayer is powerful. Prayer is a way to talk to our Father and to bring our praise, our worship and our burdens to Him.

I received so many prayers from others and would be honored to do the same for you.

And I do it in Jesus' name ~

Day after Port Removal

Well, guess I will get back on that Coumadin until I see doc Jan 15.

Ouch!

One Year Anniversary

Dec 20, 2011 was my lumpectomy surgery. It almost feels like a lifetime ago. It is hard to wrap my brain around surgery, 6 rounds of chemo, 33 days of radiation and 17 IVdrips of Herceptin.

Not to mention 3 MRIs, 3 ultrasounds, 1 bone density screening, 2 blood transfusions, 2 echos, hospitalization due to multiple blood clots, followup appointments and just to throw into the mix, a neurologist specialist.

At 8:00am, I was scheduled for my port removal.  The doctor was the same one that had put the port in my arm last January 5.  I had an added bonus of dissolvable stitches, so I won't have to go back and have them pulled and cut out.  The doctor asked if I felt a sharp pain and I said yes ... so she gave a little bit more numbing on the area.  The only other person in the room was a nurse.  The doctor held a conversation with me as she worked and had several questions.  It was a good distraction.

"How did your life change after going through cancer treatment?" she asked.

I have been asked that before.  "I have grown closer to God."

She nodded. "I have heard that before many times from patients."

I explained that my faith has always been strong, but now I got to experience "the peace that passes all understanding" as in

Philippians 4:7

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gentle, deep peace wraps around my whole being and removes any anxiety and worry I held on to all my life.  This peace cannot be explained by mere words, it can only be experienced.

 

Once the port was finally removed, doc stitched me up with dissolvable stitches.  So glad I don't have to go back to get them removed.  No bruising yet. Do you remember the last bruise when it was put in? Oh, yeah, and the "multiple" blood clots it created.

 

 

 

After the procedure, I went back to the lobby waiting room.  This is also the day my mom is getting her kidney biopsied.  I waited for my brother in law to bring her.  The place was getting busy since my early morning appointment.  Filling up with patients, wheelchairs, canes....

 

This broken world filled with broken bodies. 

 

How many with broken spirits?

An Insurance Perk

Saturday, Christie & I went to Elegant Essentials.  What a beautiful shop and gracious staff.  Please check with your insurance carrier on what benefits you may receive when facing breast cancer.  My insurance pays for 6 bras per year.  If you happen to chose one that has more frills than what the insurance company deems necessary, then you pay a portion.  So, I received 5 great fitting bras for free (because I met my deductible) and then paid 50% of the cost for the 6th one.

 

Did I mention 6 per year for life!

 

 

Christmas Flash Mob

In South Bay Galleria (So Cal) – a Christmas flash mob, be sure to watch it to the end the final minute is the best!
 
TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THIS – IT SAYS IT ALL.
 
THIS IS REALLY WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT.
 
GOD BLESS US ALL!
 
Click here

Herceptin #17 and The Last One!

Friday, December 14 was my 17th Herceptin drip.  8:00am, I arrived at the clinic and all its familiarity.  The white tree that sits elegantly next to the receptionist window was decorated with beautiful Christmas ornaments.  They have ornaments for each holiday or season .... Easter, St Patrick's day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Independence Day, etc... In the past 12 months, I have never seen it removed from the room or undecorated. 

I scanned my patient card and settled in my chair.  I decided to stop for coffee before coming in and SO glad I did.  This was the first time I actually made time to do so.  I pulled out my electronic Yahtzee game and watched as the nurses arrived to begin their work day. I wondered if they really knew how special they are to so many of "us". 

Nurse Regina took care of me today.  Nurse Karen was the other one on site and in the same chemo room.  On the other side of the hallway, it was Nurses Tracy, Dawn and Bev. 

All my angels

It was smooth sailing and the nurses reminded me that I will need to get my port flushed every 4-6 weeks.  It is hard to explain, but it gave me comfort knowing that I would get to come back and see them.  Nicole, the pharmacist, stopped by to wish me well and I asked how long I would need to keep the port in. She said that Doc Esther usually kept them in patients for a few months....even up to a year.  She is a new mom and the conversation easily moved to photography and my all time favorite ~ Shutterfly.  I am still planning on creating a piece for display at the center. 

Once the chemo was done, I collected my things and gave hugs to Regina and she led me to the scheduling desk for the port flushing.  I got it for Jan 15 when I come in for my follow-up with Doc.  Karen found me and gave me good-bye hugs as well.  She is special to me. 

My sister will also have these amazing angels to care for her

I decided to go across the hall to find the other nurses and say my good-byes.  Doc Esther was there on the computer and she watched all the exchanges.

Then she said, "Why don't you go see Kim and have her schedule to get the port removed."

"Really!?" I was shocked.  "Really!?" I said a little louder.

"Yes," she said. "I don't want to have to write out any more work orders for you."

Happy Dance!  Laughter! Delightful squeals!

 

So, I made my way down the hall and Kim scheduled it for next Thursday, 20th. Naturally, I turned right around and went back to the chemo scheduling desk to cancel the flushing.  Wow, what a turn of events.

 

As I was driving to work, I was trying to wrap my brain around everything that had just occurred over the past 2 hours.  With the clear results of my one year mammogram/ultrasound , I realized

 

I'm no longer a cancer patient

 

I am a cancer survivor!

 

 

I am one of God's miracles!

 

 

 

 





The Children are Precious

In light of those whose lives shattered in an instant today, I am putting my news on hold for now.

As the water pushes powerfully thru debris

May our prayers push their way thru any obstacle

and reach directly to Heaven

 

The little children who now sits on the lap of Jesus

will never cry again

will never hurt again

 

and will live in the purest light of love

as they wait patiently to see us again

 

May the parents, families and friends

seek God's face

feel His arms around their shoulders

and His comfort deep inside their hearts

 

May we remember them in our prayers

and lift them up in a community of

love and understanding

today and every day

Amen

 

 



Physical Therapy

After work today, I went for my first physical therapy visit.  Hopefully, gently working and stretching will help get the kinks out and return my range of motion and strength.  I will be going every Tuesday & Thursday for at least 4-6 weeks.  I'm really excited about getting to this next step in my journey.

I want my strength back!

I don't want to be so fatigued anymore!

Haven't a clue

Not much to tell this past week.  After Tuesday, my body felt like it had been slammed by a mac truck.  Amazing how stress can mess with the body.  I'm still getting use to taking Arimidex  My blood pressure, headaches and pain got the best of me and I left work early on Thursday and slept through it.  Saturday, I slept a lot too.

I'm hoping that physical therapy will help me get my body moving again. My first visit is Dec 11.

Lots of anniversaries this time of year.  What date do you use?  The day of the mammogram? Day of the biopsy? Day of the diagnosis? Day of the surgery?  What constitutes the one year anniversary of cancer? 

Haven't a clue.

Christmas is around the corner and I haven't begun shopping or writing greeting cards. Christmas is so different without little ones.  As the years have come and gone, the meaning of Christmas has deepened for me and I surround myself with Christian music and listen to the radio programs that I love.

Wishing you all the joys

of this beautiful and peaceful season.

 

 

 

 

Follow Up with Surgeon

This morning I woke up to a migraine ... haven't had one of those in years. They always affect my vision and I knew that I would have problems driving to my appointment.  Matt was ready to take me, but by the time I was to leave, my vision returned.

I arrived at the Breast Center with the feeling of deja vu, I was doing this one year ago.  I wanted to sit with every patient in there and hold their hand. I remembered the anxiety and fear and disbelief.

The nurse updated my information and my blood pressure was 151/111. Kinda high ~

I met with Dr Partin first and she is just so thorough.  A very sweet lady.  She asked me what plans I had to celebrate my last chemo (Dec 14).  I really haven't thought about that. 

The thick tissue at my surgery site is scar tissue.  It should be watched for any time of growth.  She explained that since some of my lymph nodes were removed, my system has been interrupted and this could be why I'm not feeling 100%. The pain in my unaffected breast needs to be checked.  She also wants me to try tailored bras at:

I agree. Time to find something else.  She also asked if I had Fibromyalgia.  Nope.  She is sending me to physical therapy as my range of motion isn't far enough along.  They set me up for Dec 11.  After physical therapy is done, I plan to then go to a gym to continue building my strength.  I am weighing the most I've ever weighed in my life. Time to get these pounds off.

So, down the same hallways I had been through before for the diagnostic mammogram.  It HURT, but I've been through worse.  The technician told me to take a seat and if there was anything unusual, I would be sent to the ultrasound.  Waiting even 5 minutes gave my brain time to think too much.  It also gave me time to pray and just remember what I have already accomplished so far. 

The nurse came back to take me to the ultrasound.  So, with this, my emotions were raw.  Each place the wand touched and then stayed at was right where the pain was .... Her fingers danced across the key pad taking measurements of the areas she paused at.  It didn't take long and she asked me to wait for the doc to review the ultrasound and come in to give me the results. 

Dr. Davis and two other ladies came in .... 3? It must be bad news ....

"You are all clear on both breasts. Nothing at all to worry about."

The waterworks poured out.  I couldn't help it and I was just so relieved.

She took some time with me as I calmed down.

Thank you Lord Jesus for wrapping your arms around me today.  I felt your presence!

The Anvil

So, I guess this is what my one doc was talking about when he said that most cancer patients feel as if an anvil is hanging above their head waiting to drop .... this was describing all the little bumps, lumps and pain we feel and wondering if the cancer is back.

Guess I will find out tomorrow.

 

In the meantime, I'm giving it to God.

Our Beloved Sister

Missing you, Cathy

May 30, 1968 - December 1, 2007

Homesick - Mercy Me

My poem Until We Meet Again

 

 

John 14

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

 

1 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.

 

2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

 

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

 

4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

 

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (a david bowie tune)

Thursday was a milestone for Christie.  Plus it was Casey's last night in Ohio.  So what better way to come together than over a delicious meal.  Christie/Katie and me/Casey met at Bob Evans to hear about Christie's adventure and check out her new look.  It was wonderful to just come together in support for one another.

Katie, Me, Christie, Casey

As we were leaving our table, a woman motioned to Christie and pointed to her own pink ribbon lapel.  (Christie's scarf is certainly a way for folks to recognize a chemo patient)  Her name is Betty and she wanted to give Christie some words of encouragement.  It was certainly a blessing for Christie as she held Betty's hand and they shared with each other their own experience with cancer.  It was an honor for me to witness it, because it just affirmed to me that this journey is certainly a sisterhood.

Christie & Me

My emotions are still all over the place.  It is a mother's delight when we see our children happy and healthy.  Even though I miss Casey, I know that she is exactly where God wants her to be.  Thank goodness for Skype, text, internet and cell phones!

Friday Casey came to work to see some of the people who remember her from when she worked there and to introduce her to other coworkers.  I enjoyed watching my adult child answering the many questions asked of her.  I remember listening to a talk show about how to change your relationship once your children become adults.  It had some really interesting points.  The one I remember the most is "if your friend was going outside, would you say 'you better put your sweater on' ... well, you shouldn't!  and you shouldn't say that to your adult child either."  Food for thought.

Once she left, I prayed over her safety on her flight back to Colorado this afternoon.  (and God honored the prayer)

This week was exhausting and I do believe I'm going to sleep in Saturday!!

Changes to my appointments

My annual mammogram and follow up with my surgeon has been moved up to Dec 4.  Looks like they want to do a diagnostic mammo and ultrasound to check out some pain I've been having.  Also got the all-clear to go to my dentist Dec 4 for my 6 month cleaning.  The coumidin should not be an issue as long as I don't get jabbed by some of those wicked tools they have!



Philippians 4
⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

Flashback

It is hard to imagine that a year ago my journey began.  Nov 28, I had my annual mammogram. Dec 1, went in for the diagnostic, ultrasound, and biopsy.  The diagnosis was confirmed Dec 7.

 

Where did 2012 go?

Better yet, where was I in 2012?

Chemo Brain

Evidence of 'chemo brain' verified by researchers

By Loren Grush

Published November 27, 2012

FoxNews.com
 

• 

For many cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, memory problems and a general mental haziness often plague them during and after treatment. The condition – known as‘chemo brain’ – has only been a reported phenomenon, without ever having been fully verified through scientific measures – until now.

Herceptin #16

Guess what I forgot to do? Put numbing cream on my port! Geez, I did that one other time and swore that I would never forget to do that again!  Oh well .... chemo brain.  Nurse Karen is an expert and I dealt with it easily.  After the numerous tests and pokes this past year, what's a little pinch in the arm?

The parking lot was bare as the only ones in the building were the chemo nurses.  I felt bad that they didn't have the day after Thanksgiving off like most folks.  Bless them!

Today was my next-to-the-last-one Herceptin drip.  Yay!!

December 19 is my "annual" mammogram (NOT looking forward to this)
December 21 is my follow-up with the surgeon

Nurse wants me to follow up the Doc about the pain behind my knee and the pea-size bump I feel.  Plus, the intense pain in the lymph node sections in both my underarms/breast.  I will take care of that Monday.

Christie had a hard time Thanksgiving day.  When I spoke to her today, she said that she is feeling better.  Her nausea meds might need to be changed if it has taken this long to feel better. 

Isn't she pretty?!

Thanksgiving Day



Me & Casey



Thanksgiving is a special day to thank our Lord for the blessings we have and for the relationships that are deep within our hearts.















Casey & Christie

I am so grateful for family.
















Katie & Casey

 My niece is the youngest in our family unit.  She is a wonderful young lady and my only niece.





 

 

May our Lord Jesus Christ comfort you, guide you and bring you peace every day ~





T'was The Day Before Thanksgiving ....

I'm getting excited about Wednesday night!  We are having a pj and movie nite at Christie's.  We've picked out movies and bought junk food and Casey & I plan to invade their space tomorrow afternoon.  Once we get up the next day, we will help prepare the Thanksgiving meal :)

It seems our clan has decreased in size.  Two nephews live out of state and my youngest is MIA.  Life never stays the same.

I came across this photo from Christmas 2010.  Christie had made us matching aprons.  It is nostalgia from our family roots.

For awhile, we did have some family traditions....like baking Christmas cookies.  Even though most of our traditions have changed, we do enjoy time together.

We had a lot of meals in this room!

 



This was 1993 or 1994 ~ I'm in my early 30's

I'm just happy to be spending time with Christie as she is getting through the "bad" days of her 1st chemo session.  She hasn't felt like writing in her blog, so please be patient.

I will be having my treatment the day after Thanksgiving.

Who would have thought all those years ago, what we would be facing now?

Since no one knows what tomorrow will bring, be sure you get those hugz in while you can ~