Chemo Brain versus Something Else

 

We’ve all experienced a minor hiccup when it comes to our memory.  We laugh about it and even make up silly songs. 

 

The chemo cocktails are toxic. It kills cancer and it also kills good cells. I’m not sure how long the effects last or how age can tamper with our memory, but this is the next battle I’m facing. 

It’s a little more than forgetting why I walked into a room to do something.  The first time it happened, I forgot who my husband was and I lost a decade of memories.  It finally came back, but man, oh man, it really blind-sided both of us.   When it happened again 6 months later, I made a doctor’s appointment.  Again, my memories returned, except the last several moments when it happened.  Those moments are gone. 

My doctor wrote amnesia.  Hmm, sounds like a better description than black outs.  Oh, I’m fully awake when it happens and alcohol is not involved (which evokes the connotation of the word “black out”).  I haven’t decided how much I’ll share or how raw, but this issue almost cost me my marriage.  By the grace of God, our marriage is whole again and better than before. 

Insurance denied a CTscan, so an EEG has been scheduled in February.  Until then, no driving allowed and just trying to keep tranquility all around me and “be still”.

 

Don’t fear for the future, God is already there ~

The Sound of Wisdom

 

There are seasons in my life when I experience major transitions. Some come out of left field and some were choices that I needed to make. Decisions should never be made lightly because they always come with consequences.   As we peel away the layers of each decision we ever made, we can see both the blessings and the losses.  

The unintentional consequence can be your biggest polishing stone. 

 

As God refines us in the heat of the fire, that is when we mature in our walk with Him.  When the fire is the hottest, is when He is the closest. 

Webster’s dictionary (1828) defines Wisdom as, “the right use or exercise of knowledge; the choice of laudable ends, and of the best means to accomplish them.”  It is more than “prudence”.

  

Wisdom is the exercise of sound judgment

either in avoiding evils or attempting good.

 

Solomon was deemed the wisest man by having the power of discerning and judging correctly. The mind is “sense and reason”, without the Holy Spirit. Reasoning blocks discernment.

Proverbs 

1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight;

3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair;

4 for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young-

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance-

6 for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.

7 the [reverent] fear of the LORD [that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome] is the beginning and the preeminent part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; But arrogant fools despise [skillful and godly] wisdom and instruction and self-discipline. 

The fall of man changed God’s original intention for us, but our character is developed by the Word of God and in His commandments.  Unforgiveness steals our peace, steals our joy and prevents answered prayer; it hinders God’s presence in our life. Mercy prevents us from being self-centered. Mercy triumphs over judgment. 

 

Is your wisdom of sound judgment?

 

 

How are the consequences stacking up against the decisions you make in your life? What can you follow to ensure sound wisdom?

 

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

¹³ Now all has been heard;  here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God [worship Him with awe-filled reverence, Knowing that He is almighty God] and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.

¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

 

It's that simple.

The Speed of Grace

 

As I turn the calendar to the year 2021, it occurs to me that I am approaching the 10^th year I began my battle with cancer.  I remember thinking, “I want to walk thru this situation with as much grace as I’ve seen other woman do.”  

It was important to keep HOPE alive and to give GLORY to God with each step of my journey.

2 Corinthians 12:9

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

  

Perhaps I sugar-coated it too much and left out some raw emotions.  It’s hard to find balance when sharing personal life stories on the net.  And then the year 2020 came and played a major part in all of our lives.  I wanted to stand on the mountain top and declare all the injustices that were happening in my life. Loss of parents, loss of a job, loss of friendships, the (near) loss of my marriage and loss of memory.  

Confusing and unreal stressful situations became my every day battle ground.  It was during this time that I held fast to what I knew to be true . . . I had to readjust my attitude and protect my heart from bitterness to take root. 

I again asked God to give me the grace 

[to forgive and ask for forgiveness] to walk thru the valley. 

 

I watched as God’s hands worked as the Master potter against the hardness of this old clay pot. The fire continues to refine and polish my soul as I mature in faith.   I have learned that feelings [emotions] are not truth.  Emotions are fickle and they change without any notice at all.  

Mature and learn the fruit of self-control by learning the Word of God.

Remember - Celebrate your progress and thank God for it!

 

Ephesians 4
Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ
⁴ As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. READ MORE....

¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶ From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

 

The speed of God’s grace, 

in His patience with each one of us, 

begs attention in everything He does for us. 

 

How much time do we really have on this earth?  How long will it take for you to come to the Saving Grace that is in Our Lord Jesus Christ?

 

2 Peter 3:9

⁹ The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

 

Blessings to you my friend ~