welcome

(photo of my sister's backyard fence...all photos are thru my lens)

This is just a way to express my thoughts as I walk this path and journey through as a breast canSURVIVOR.

Make cancer mad, just piss it off by misspelling it..... like "canzer"

In remission ~ December 2012

Invasive Moderately Differentiated Ductal Carcinoma T1cN0M0 Stage 1

Estrogen receptor-positive cancer - Here is how it began



Monday, January 25, 2021

Chemo Brain versus Something Else

 



We’ve all experienced a minor hiccup when it comes to our memory.  We laugh about it and even make up silly songs. 

 


The chemo cocktails are toxic. It kills cancer and it also kills good cells. I’m not sure how long the effects last or how age can tamper with our memory, but this is the next battle I’m facing. 

It’s a little more than forgetting why I walked into a room to do something.  The first time it happened, I forgot who my husband was and I lost a decade of memories.  It finally came back, but man, oh man, it really blind-sided both of us.   When it happened again 6 months later, I made a doctor’s appointment.  Again, my memories returned, except the last several moments when it happened.  Those moments are gone. 

My doctor wrote amnesia.  Hmm, sounds like a better description than black outs.  Oh, I’m fully awake when it happens and alcohol is not involved (which evokes the connotation of the word “black out”).  I haven’t decided how much I’ll share or how raw, but this issue almost cost me my marriage.  By the grace of God, our marriage is whole again and better than before. 

Insurance denied a CTscan, so an EEG has been scheduled in February.  Until then, no driving allowed and just trying to keep tranquility all around me and “be still”.

 

Don’t fear for the future, God is already there ~


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