(photo of my sister's backyard fence...all photos are thru my lens)

This is just a way to express my thoughts as I walk this path and journey through as a breast canSURVIVOR.

Make cancer mad, just piss it off by misspelling it..... like "canzer"

In remission ~ December 2012

Invasive Moderately Differentiated Ductal Carcinoma T1cN0M0 Stage 1

Estrogen receptor-positive cancer - Here is how it began

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Power Injectable Port

The intensity of this procedure was totally unexpected.  You see yesterday, when I met with Doc Esther, I mentioned that I would like to get back to work by Friday.  She agreed and said that returning to a routine would be great.  What she didn’t tell me was how terrible inserting the port was going to be.  I must be a wimp or something. 
Day of Insertion


This was an hour long process in a surgery-like room.  Gowns, masks, the whole thing.  But instead of lovely sleep, it was a local anesthesia.  Thankfully, the medical team was compassionate. Pat was the lead and she walked me through the procedure to let me know when it was “going to hurt”, when to breathe, and when to "go to my happy place" (which I chose Colorado).   So, this round device goes under the skin and a wire is inserted thru the vein to your heart.  Once it is PUSHED into place, you are stitched up and bandaged. 

I consider myself somewhat a tough cookie.  You can’t go through life with endometriosis and not learn to develop pain management.  But, THIS WAS PAINFUL.  On a scale from 0-10, I’d say a 20. 


Nope, can’t wake up from this.  So, again, I have to say, no choice but to walk through this journey holding God’s hand.  I am so blessed with all the support from friends and family. 

As I write this, about 7 hours have passed since the procedure.  Yes, I took a pain pill, okay 2.  On a scale from 0-10, now a 4. Time, a nap, a pill = my life.

In 7-10 days, the stitches come out.  I will probably do that on Jan 12 (first day of chemo). I am to carry information the size of a credit card to show for future tests, such as CT-scan or MRI (to show the type of port)

Work tomorrow.


  1. Wow Carol, what a tough day. I'm sure its just one of many, but I also believe in your strength. I like your honesty, and if others who end up on the same journey happen across your blog, it will help them to know that its ok to admit that it hurts. There will be successes and setbacks, (as there are on any trip), but as long as you are facing forward, you'll get where you need to go. Thank you for sharing, love ya!

  2. Dear Carol,

    Sorry that your port placement was such a painful process but I think it was the right decision. Your veins will thank you for it and from my experience, it’s a much better way of doing things than enduring endless needle sticks each time they want some blood drawn or treatments started.

    As a veteran of the chemo wars, I wish I could tell you that it is not so bad but I can’t. It’s no picnic but possibly not the nightmare that you might be fearing either. Canser treatments have come such a long way. They have many medications to offset side effects and excellent nurses, counselors and staff that will help you with the roughest parts. Still, it will take its toll physically, mentally and emotionally. Your faith, family and friends will carry you through.

    Not to worry about losing your hair. When I was sick, John Moore graciously offered the services of his hair stylist as needed. For obvious reasons, I never took him up on it but I am sure he will be just as generous with you. :)

    Allow yourself permission to cry. It is cleansing and therapeutic and uplifting afterwards. I also think canser hates it. So let the waterworks flow whenever you need to.

    Work can wait. I know how dedicated and professional you are and how validating the job can be for providing a sense of value and purpose, but you have more important things to concern yourself with right now. Your primary focus should be on getting healthy and telling this canser to F*CK OFF! Nothing else matters.

    I wish I was as strong as you. You so impress me with being so together and ready to tackle this thing head on. Yet I know that deep in the core, countless questions, concerns and emotions must be eating you up inside. This too shall pass and I am confident you will conquer this challenge one hurdle at a time.




Love to read your comments!