Round 8

Route 8 backed up (again), ugh ~

I asked how many sessions I had left and the tech checked the computer screen.  I looked at the figures and quickly added in my head *tongue-in-cheek* (I feel brain dead)

25 standard
  7 boost

Now, that's 32 and I thought it was 33! 

I told him he just made my day!!!!

Well, he said, it depends on if the doctor wants to change some of the radiation "type" .... it might add to or subtract to the total count.

~ Sigh ~



Wednesdays, I meet with the doctor.  Dr. R was not in today, so I saw the lady doctor from the "photo" session.  I opened my ball gown, she took a quick peek and didn't even touch me.  All done.

The nurse said that samples of cream (XClair) were still not in and they don't know when they will get some.  So, I asked for a script and I would be charged $50 through insurance for 1 tube.  Nurse said that I could get 2 tubes for $65 through a mail order vendor they use and it would be delivered to my home the NEXT DAY.

Love it ~

Today's Thought

⁷ But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

⁸ We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

AMEN

I usually put all my devotions on my tab "Inspiration".  Today, it is right out front.

The White Farm

Round 7

This morning, I broke another blood vessel.  This one is on my foot from the base of my little toe, wrapped around the side to the back on the "padded" part of the foot.  Ouch.  I just stepped on the plastic matt under the office chair.  My body seems so fragile.

The day went by slowly. 

I made it to radiation and was taken right in.  It is getting faster to line everything up and blast me.  I asked them when the fatigue is suppose to hit and they said about two weeks into treatment. 

But I'm tired now!

They just smiled and said it's because this is like a part time job (having to report in every day) plus working my full time job, effects of chemo, yada-yada-yada.

Then they said, just wait for the phase "I don't want to do this anymore!"

I said, I'm already there!

~ 26 remaining ~



Dad's dock & boat

Round 6

Monday ~ the beginning of a new week. 

Not too much wit and humor today, just don't feel like it.  My sister and her husband just received a call that his life long friend just died.  So sudden .... they just saw him yesterday.  It is times like these that make you pause and wonder.  Life can change in a second.  My prayers go out to Bonnie and her family.  May Don find peace in the beauty of Heaven.

Staying focused, staying positive, just tired.

~ 27 remaining ~

Praying for you too, Judy, as you continue on your journey.

Saturday

I worked 5-1/2 hours today to make up all the time missed for treatments.  Sure got a lot done in the quiet. 

Afterwards, I went to Clinique. Just love meeting women who "get it".  A beautiful lady seemed to remember me and it was awesome chatting with her.

Calling all women! Get your mammogram!!!

Walk thru your fear ~

Round 5 + Herceptin

This morning I was due for my Herceptin drip.  My appointment was 8:30am and it was about 9:15 when the IV was administered.  They were really busy and had 70 patients that would be coming through today.  Canzer is everywhere.  I was in a private room and Nurse Bev took great care of me.

L-O-V-E the heated blankets!

I tried to relax my body and quiet my mind enough to take advantage of the moments of stillness. I am so very tired, but couldn't fade into sleep (too much activity outside the opened door). 

Got my blood test done for the Coumadine and found it to be 3.3 (should be between 2 - 4).  Doc Esther's office called me at work with the results and now I am back down to just 1 pill a day.

I asked Nurse Bev if I had been on Taxol or Taxotere.  A friend of mine is getting ready for Taxol and I couldn't remember what I had.  To my "shock", I was on Taxol.  I say this because the paper I received during orientation on the 3 drugs wasn't Taxol, it was Taxotere.

Any reference of Taxotere in my blog is wrong!

Explains my confusion whenever I heard references about my chemo drugs all those months.  I just started to  believe that it was the same drug (namebrand and generic).  Oh, brother!

I made it back to work finally and tried to get my mind focused.  By 1:00, I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go home and sleep.

At 4:00, I clocked out to make it to radiation treatment by 4:30.  They were running behind and I got in a little after 5:00.  I met a lady while waiting and we exchanged stories.  She began a week before me.

One tech this time and I got in & out quickly. 

It was a long week.  I need 5-1/2 hours of make up time and will work Saturday to catch up.  I think I might sleep the weekend away after that.

One week DONE!

 

 28 LEFT!

All Aboard!

 

Round 4

The numbers are counting down fast. Tomorrow will be a week in to the radiation treatment.  Set up is going a lot faster too.  Today, I was in & out really fast.

The best news is that the 4:30 appointment slot became available and I now have it starting tomorrow.  Instead of leaving work at 3:30, I can leave at 4:00.  Really good news.

Getting thru the muck and mire and seeing the finish line



Marsh land in Florida

29 left!

Round 3

So, round 3 on Wednesday was SO much better.  I saw Dr R first and he was certain that I did not have an infection.  He did say that it was the beginning of the redness and tenderness that usually starts two weeks into treatment.  My skin is sensitive and I did warn them about that.   We discussed various creams and he said that they try to give out as many samples as possible (pricey) but they were all out.  The one packet I got the day before will have to due until more comes in.

Dr R also showed me  (my) photos of how the laser beam is hitting the treated areas and my lung is being totally by-passed.  To actually see it for myself makes it all worthwhile.  He was very polite and quizzed me on my physical health and the treatment itself.  I let him know some of the hard spots laying in that position.

Holly & Tim helped me get in position and this time, Tim didn't lock down the right side of my head.  I promised not to move and it was A LOT better.

It put me in a happy place of blue skies and green trees. 

Florida - Best boat ride EVER!

30 remaining!

No Pain No Gain?

I woke up this morning with redness a little bigger than half a dollar.  Feels just like a sunburn ... tight, itchy, hot.  I try to be proactive. I thought by calling the doctor's office this afternoon to get a prescription (or at least a sample) of cream ordered, I could get it after my treatment.  The nurse said that it couldn't be the radiation treatment because it takes at least two weeks  before side effects occur. She actually said

It has to be from something else

(really?)

That threw me for a loop ~ trust me, I haven't been slapped on the boob nor suntanning with my top off.   She said that Dr R would have to see me on Wednesday (he wasn't in today) and I said "I need help with this now, do you have a sample that you can give me?"  Nope, she was all out.  She did agree to have the other doctor in the group see me before my 2nd treatment began.

I made it to the appointment (again with 2 minutes to spare because of new construction that just popped up) and went thru the motions of getting my ball gown on.  This time, I had my spring jacket to zip up the front.  Gave me a bright idea ~ I'm taking my summer robe tomorrow.

The doc examined the situation and seemed perplexed.  She mentioned the word "infection" and I thought "how?"  Doc decided to go ahead and get my treatment (sectioning off the burned area). I agreed to have a photograph taken so Dr R could see if today's treatment made it any worse or not.

It's amazing how all shyness disappears

Two technicians, Holly & Scott (have to double-check that) got me set up.  This time they placed linen all over the arm area to soften it.  I tried to explain the pressure on my forehead, but will have to try (yell) harder tomorrow.  Once that mesh was locked in, the stabbing pain hit.  It didn't take quite as long today, and I was relieved to get my head released from the jaws of death .... (too dramatic?)

Note to self: Remember to remove dangly earrings

Totally forgot to take them off and one got tangled in the mesh.  Holly was quick to help.

So, they did find a sample of cream to try out.  Doc said it cost $75.  I will be finding out how much insurance is going to pay for it.

Tomorrow Dr R and

31 more to go!

Florida where the gators are



First Radiation Treatment & Lessons Learned

I made it to the radiation oncology with 2 minutes to spare (accident on the freeway to get around).  There are only 6 parking spaces in a narrow parking lot, which were all taken.

Valet parking! (am I suppose to tip them?)

Swiped my "I'm here!" card and made my way to the dressing room.  I didn't have long to wait.  I was taken back by Tim & Holly to get things rolling.  Apparently, the film they took before the power went out Friday didn't transfer over in the system.  So, new photos were necessary before the treatment began.  I asked Holly to cushion my forearms a little to help the pressure of holding myself up.  It worked for the most part (although my arms were still shaking by the time they were done).  This time, though, the intense pain came from the hard Styrofoam that my forehead rested on.  When that mesh is clamped down tight, nothing moves and my body & head are PRESSED down hard.

OUCH!

I was in that position for almost 30 minutes.  I'm so glad that one was done.   I need to figure out how to ease that pressure from my forehead.  Have you ever eaten something really cold and you get that  brain freeze?  To me, that's intense and that's how it felt.

Once I got down from the table and "situated", I asked Tim if I needed the cream that everyone was talking about.  He said that the cream treats the symptoms and if you use the cream before the symptoms appear, then you make it worse.  So, wait until then.

Anybody disagree?

Then I asked him how the radiation beam was hitting me .... from the back down to the front? That's what I assumed since the 3 tats were on my back.  Nope, that was just to position and line me up.  From the sides ~ That's all I'm giving you.

Just have to use your imagination

I'm thinking about taking my camera in .... I can't find a photo on the net showing you what the mesh looks like.  Perhaps the tech can take a picture.  After I see it, then you can see it.  Perhaps.

I was explaining to Debbie some more details from when the lights went out and she thought it was really funny. I can't seem to remember everything when I'm writing posts.  So, here is the "addendum".

When the power went out and they decided to let me go home, the table was high off the ground.  Plus, the round part of the machine was just inches above my head.  If you can picture yourself (or me) sliding towards the end of the table

like GI Jane under barb wire

to clear the machine above me; then sitting up just to realize that the table was very high up when the power went out.  Again, I must say, I even surprised myself at how agile I was at clutching my gown closed and balancing off the table onto a 3-4 step ladder.

Ta-Da!

32 more to go!

Radiation Begins

Today, I went in again for the final adjustments with the mesh that was moulded last week. They also wanted to take films. 

This time, only 3 men

(and a woman came in to replace 2 of them)

I'm a pioneer woman! Not like this awesome Pioneer Woman .... no, just the first patient at Akron General to lay "prone" instead of on my back.  That's pretty exciting, right?  I googled this a bit and read (parts) of Journal of Clinical Oncology, which talks about the "prone position to spare the heart & lung".

My forehead and chin rest on the grey

My "generous" breast is getting blasted from the back to the front. 

Awesome

So, after pulling and tugging my legs and torso to line my body up to the measurements taken the first time, they left the room to take the film.  After hearing a few hums from the machine,  the power went out EVERYWHERE.  I laid there for a bit with them asking if I was alright and that if it didn't come back on soon, they would let me up and out of the position.  One thing you should know, since the right side of my upper torso is suspended in air (no board underneath that area), my right arm soon became numb.  

Like doing one arm push ups

I was praying for the tingling sensation to go away .... then Kevin said that he was concerned about the two children in the other radiation rooms because they were under anesthesia for their treatment.  It's hard to keep children still during something like this.  Children.  My mind immediately went to them, off of me.

And I began to pray for them instead

~ Canzer is not fair ~

What seemed like eternity, they released me.  Still no power.

As I was being lead back to the dressing room, the power came back on.  Kevin said that I can either come back Monday to finish the simulation & treatment planning or give it a try again.  I decided to stay and wait the 15 minutes for the machine to power up.

Back up on the table (they were impressed by my agility), lining up again became quicker.  They left the room and finally got all the shots they needed.

Right before I was going to loose all strength, we were done.

6-1/2 weeks = 33 days, Monday - Friday @ 4:00pm

June 4 - July 18

I will miss 1-1/2 hours of work each day (plus time every 3 weeks for chemo).  My boss is allowing me to change my work schedule to include Saturday.  I should be able to put in 40 hours.

I'm tired now .... just wait for totally fatigued!!

A friend told me that I "kicked chemo's butt and I will kick radiation's butt too".  So, that's the plan

grit & determination

Thinking of you Marily ~ rest now and I will see you soon.

My Kid Sister

Happy birthday sweet Cathy.

Sometimes it is hard to look at pictures .... it shouldn't be so, but my heart aches at the loss.  In each picture, she is smiling.  So carefree.

We are going to visit her at the gravesite today and release balloons.  It has been something we have done since she has been gone (Dec 1, 2007).  Our group is getting smaller as we are spread in distance, but we each think of her in our own way .... I'm sure every day, not just today.

I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again! We will laugh and play, dance and sing.  Forever.

Radiation Planning

I received a call from Kevin at the radiologist today.  I am set up to do some more planning on June 1 @ noon.  I will be using a new table and technique, so he wants to be sure that it is "do-able".  I will keep you posted!

Didn't get a lot done over the weekend.  Slept most of it away.

Sis did make me some pretty scarves from material I picked up from Joanne's. I'll be sure to so you the finished product.

Clinical Trial - Results

I received a call from Dr R about the Clinical Trial.  He said he wanted to call me personally to tell me that we can't move forward with the trial.  One of the qualifiers is that radiation must be started NO LATER than 6 months after surgery.  This Sunday will be 6 months and the "overseers" would take another two weeks to review the treatment plan.  Then he said he "didn't feel comfortable waiting that long to start treatment".

I have mixed feelings about that statement.

So, I am awaiting the call from the scheduling office to set me up for 6-1/2 weeks of daily radiation.

Yippee ~