The Love of Caregivers

Nikki told me about Martina McBride's song about caregivers.  She mentioned how it felt to be a caregiver, because she was for her husband.  This video is amazing, powerful, and true. 

I'm so very thankful ~ every day ~ for the caregivers in my life.  I've never wanted to be a burden to anyone. It is very humbling to ask for help....but in most cases, I don't have to ask.  A helping hand is always there. 

The hugs I get are powerful as well.  I get them daily from many sources.  Sometimes, they come unexpectedly from people I barely know.

I can tell you that to me, knowing that I am not alone makes all the difference in the world.  To know that people are praying for me.  To know that people care ~ amazing.

So thank you.   Please listen to this song and to those who feel this same amazement at the love and support that they received.

Link to Caregivers and more articles

TGIF ~

Thankful that today is Friday.  I didn't feel so great today.  My own fault.... Matt drove me to work today and since I was in pain, I decided to take a pain pill.  Breakfast was hours earlier and taking that tiny pill on an empty stomach made me nauseous, dizzy and way off.  Nope, won't do that again.

We had a department luncheon and Debbie was kind enough to get me a bowl of soup.  I sat at my desk for a bit to let it warm my tummy and get me back on track.  Finally, I joined the group in the other room and enjoyed the conversation.  Then, I felt something strange....touched my nose and had blood on my fingers.  Ever so discreetly, I left the room to attend to my bloody nose.  Jeez .... I noticed a bruise on my forearm and can't remember how I got that. Coumadin and cocktails.... Kinda felt like I was falling apart today.

Matt picked me up at 4:30 and I was relieved to go home. Did I mention how relieved I am it's Friday?

On other news, Jasmine moved today a little bit closer to home.  I met the family she is living with and they seem very nice.  We have plans to get Jasmine's license and then make an appointment to get her wisdom teeth removed.  She has been having quite a few headaches and it is terrible if an infection starts in the gums as the poison can travel straight to the heart. 

My friend, Marylee, is leaving for a missions trip to Haiti.  I am so overjoyed for her as this is her heart's desire and she has made several trips there already.  She has a real love for them.  I'm anxious to hear all the wonderful news she will bring back with her....and PICTURES....I am a shutterbug and I love pictures!

Looking Glass Falls

Gonna take it easy this weekend.  May you have a beautiful day ~

Test Results for #2 Session

Today was my follow-up appointment with my oncologist.  Doc Esther came back from vacation and was running about an hour behind schedule.  Don't you just hate it when you have to wait at doctor appointments?  But, I try to relax and not get overly anxious. 

My INR for my coumidine is 1.7 (needs to be between 2-3).  So, she wants me to go up 1/2 a pill (1-1/2 pill per day).

My white blood cells are low.  So, I will need to get a shot of Neulasta 24 hours after my chemo (Friday).  I'm not liking the side effect list .... man, oh man.  Hoping insurance pays a good chunk of it.

My blood pressure was good :)

I asked her to write a 90 day script for my nausea medicine.  She had only been writing them for 15 pills at a time and it cost $38.50.  I explained our discount plan that it would be $15 for 90 day supply.  I dropped off the script on the way to work only to discover that it had been written for 30 days for $232 dollars.  Oh boy.... it took lots of phone calls to get that all squared away.  Mission accomplished.

Tired ....

It's been nice having Jasmine spend the night yesterday and today.  She made chilie for dinner and has been helping around the house.  I'm glad she has been able to lend a helping hand!

Good night ~

South Carolina

That Fogginess

Duct Tape is Wonderful

So there IS such a thing as Chemo Brain !!! I knew it just wasn't ME....seriously?!  Pre-chemo, I use to say I had "some-timerz", not Alzheimer's (hope I'm not offending anyone).

The article states
Here are just a few examples of what patients call chemo brain:

• Forgetting things that they usually have no trouble recalling (memory lapses)
• Trouble concentrating (they can’t focus on what they’re doing, have a short attention span, may “space out”)
• Trouble remembering details like names, dates, and sometimes larger events
• Trouble multi-tasking, like answering the phone while cooking, without losing track of one task (they are less able to do more than one thing at a time)
• Taking longer to finish things (disorganized, slower thinking and processing)
• Trouble remembering common words (unable to find the right words to finish a sentence)

I can certainly attest to it!

I see my oncologist in the morning and my blog helps me keep things in order.  Like most people, I make lists and try to remember it all.

Day-to-day coping

Experts have been studying memory for a long time. There are many resources that might help you sharpen your mental abilities and manage the problems that may come with chemo brain. Some things that you can do are:

• Use a detailed daily planner. Keeping everything in one place makes it easier to find the reminders you may need. Serious planner users keep track of their appointments and schedules, “to do” lists, important dates, websites, phone numbers and addresses, meeting notes, and even movies they’d like to see or books they’d like to read.
• Exercise your brain. Take a class, do word puzzles, or learn a new language.
• Get enough rest and sleep.
• Exercise your body. Regular physical activity is not only good for your body, but also improves your mood, makes you feel more alert, and decreases tiredness (fatigue).
• Eat your veggies. Studies have shown that eating more vegetables is linked to keeping brain power as people age.
• Set up and follow routines. Pick a certain place for commonly lost objects and put them there each time. Try to keep the same daily schedule.
• Don’t try to multi-task. Focus on one thing at a time.
• Ask for help when you need it. Friends and loved ones can help with daily tasks to cut down on distractions and help you save mental energy.
• Track your memory problems. Keep a diary of when you notice problems and the events that are going on at the time. Medicines taken, time of day, and the situation you are in might help you figure out what affects your memory. Keeping track of when the problems are most noticeable can also help you prepare. You’ll know to avoid planning important conversations or appointments during those times. This will also be useful when you talk with your doctor about these problems.
• Try not to focus so much on how much these symptoms bother you. Accepting the problem will help you deal with it. As many patients have noted, being able to laugh about things you can’t control can help you cope. And remember, you probably notice your problems much more than others do. Sometimes we all have to laugh about forgetting to take the grocery list with us to the store.

Critical Shortage of Medication

Critical Shortage of Medication for ALL: You Can Help

There is currently a significant shortage of the chemotherapy medication preservative-free methotrexate in the United States. This drug is critical to the treatment of children with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Unless production of preservative-free methotrexate increases, hospitals will run out of the medication completely in the days and weeks ahead.

I've been reading about shortages in chemo drugs.  Put a face to the need and meet this dear child . Also, read Lil Blue Boo.

Take a moment from your precious time to help save precious time for cancer patients. Here is what you can do

Happy Valentine's Day

What is Love?

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It's a Matter of Life & Death

This canzer-thingy sucks. It's mean and it does kill.  How long is it going to take before someone finds a cure that is 100% effective?  I followed Lanie's Blog .... and then reality hit once again.

I also follow Lil Blue Boo ... Ashley is amazing and celebrates "Choosing Joy" every day. I can't even begin to compare our diagnosis or treatments (nor should I), but to say that she is a very strong individual who kicks butt.

This disease creeps into our lives and changes us forever. 

If we are blessed to reach remission, we are still looking over our shoulder and wondering if it will return. (as in other blogs I follow listed on the right side of my blog)

REALITY CHECK

A wonderful friend of ours is in hospice.  He is in his final stages of his home-going. We all have an ending story. A beginning, a middle and an end.   I can't imagine facing death without God .... it would be too lonely, too depressing.  I'm thankful that my eyes are wide open now about life in general.  I wasted much of it with stupid stuff.  Now, I get a chance to make things right in many areas of my life.

Colorado

Don't wait to get a diagnosis like cancer ...

make life altering changes

FOR THE BETTER

right now ~

Pink Glove Dance

Crop Circles

Yesterday after my shower, the stubble on my head looked like crop circles.  No, really, it's true! Most of it was laying down, disconnected.  What a sight! I think I could have just stayed under the shower nozzle and wait for it to all wash out.  Instead, another session with Matt.  This time with lather and a Gillette Mach 3 razor.  I sat on the edge of the tub and let him take his time on my scalp.

Bald and beautiful!  Well, don't know about the beautiful part though, lol.

Saturday, I paid bills and lounged around. 
Sunday, I plan to clean the kitchen and organize some of my piles.
Not too productive, just kinda taking it easy.

The winter snow hit us this weekend in beautiful Ohio. 

May you be a blessing to someone today!

My Soul is Restored

Above Me

A wonderful friend of mine from my school days in North Carolina has been a great encourager.  He said that through prayer and support that "all bases are covered, but don't forget short stop (your BIBLE)".  He reminded me of Psalm 23, which our family is very familiar with as we have read it at many of our funerals.  But reading it again, brings even more assurance that right here and right now, God's words sustain me.  His promises to us are true.



Psalms 23:1-6(NKJV)
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.


As I listened to a recent sermon, the subject was loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  What is the definition of soul?  It is your "personhood"...what makes you, "you"... our "character". 

This journey has many valleys.  I can tell you that right now, my soul (my personhood) has been restored.

Thank you Jesus ~

The Pickle Jar

A forwarded e-mail worthy of sharing ~

The pickle jar, as far back as I can remember, sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents' bedroom.  When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar

Sleep is Good

Thank you for all the prayers and messages.  I have been in bed by 7:30 each night, so haven't been on top of messages.  It makes my heart smile to read them.

Today, the side effects have lessened their grip.  It is Day 7 post chemo and I'm trying to think of foods that won't make me nauseous.  The vitamin k in leafy greens is a "no-no" because of the coumidine....salads, broccoli, spinach.  I can have it, but if I do, it has to be all the time or none at all because it will spike my blood tests. 

Sleep is good and I can tell it is helping my body recover from the chemo.  I'm going to make it a point to get more of it after treatments.

I'm thinking clearer today.  The skies are bluer today.  God is still holding me.

My Pity Party

The last few days have been kinda rough.  I missed all day Monday ... managed to work Tuesday 10:15-4:00.  I have no idea how I drove to work and back. I don't think I'm going to try that again either.  I'll just have to book both Monday & Tuesday after chemo that I'm going to be off work. 

Everything inside of me is getting killed.  I'm feeling it.

I got home yesterday and went straight to bed.  Matt came home from school around 8pm and was distraught that I hadn't taken my medicine or eaten.  Getting hard to eat.  Not hungry and that metallic taste is back.  So, looks like I'll need a babysitter on Tuesday after.

I'm feeling sorry for myself and I don't want to.  I really don't want to do this anymore.  But I have to.

*sigh*

To Believe

Jackie Evancho
To Believe