Express Yourself

When the time comes, I will learn how to make eyebrows.  I had NO IDEA this is how to do it!

Laughter Heals

We've all heard that laughter heals.  I see no reason to doubt it!  Hope you get a kick out of this!

Belly laughs are wonderful for the soul and  Laughter heals

Silly Kitties

Just another Sunday

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm hanging in there .... although very tired and my bones hurt like last time.  Keeping the pain at bay as much as possible.  Decided to rest one more day and go back to work Tuesday. 

Peace be with you ~

Sleepy Time ~

I've lost some hours somewhere .... Last I remember, went to work Friday.  Okay day, but got tired before lunch time.  Matt picked me up around 4:00 (glad I wasn't driving) and we went to Sam's club looking for printer ink.  (thank goodness for scooters) They didn't have it so our money went on other "stuff".  Almonds for one.  The nutritionist on my "team" called me to talk about my numbers and even though they looked good, was encouraging me to get more protein and iron to promote healing.  nuts, yogurt, cheese, meats, etc. And, if I'm not hungry for a full meal, snack on trail mix.  Got that too.

Stopped at my sister's house to pick up our yummy dinner. Ate most of it (saving the rest for later) and crashed about 7:30pm on the couch.  I woke up about 4:00am, took my first pain pill and went to bed.  I've been sleeping most of this day away too.  No nausea, pain is under control.  Don't want to walk much though as I can feel it in my feet.

Last time, everything hit me hard on Sunday.  Not sure what to expect, but I'm READY FOR IT and will kick it in the butt this time!

How are You being Treated today?

I hope you are being treated well today.  I am! Got my cocktail, recliner, laptop, penthouse suite, window overlooking the countryside (i mean parking lot) ... All last year, I kept saying I was going on a sabbatical.  Even wrote it on the white board at work.  Look~ I can certainly consider this my sabbatical ... why not? There sure is time to reflect and definitely re-align areas of life.

Matt brought me to the treatment center and helped me get settled in.  Adam (brother-in-law) followed us in ... Matt got to stay for awhile and then took off for school.  He already missed his first class.  It was great having that 1 on 1 conversion with Adam.  We talk about life, relationships and God. 

The usual blood work was done before treatment can start.  It is important to make sure my body is on track before chemo drugs saturate my system.  She said all my levels are excellent. Today, I have Nurse Dawn and I REALLY like her.  I think it is wonderful when the person who is caring for you actually cares.  Know what I mean jellybean? My blood level for the cumidine is 2.86 (should be between 2-3). 

My first drug was Herceptin .... this time, it was only for 30 minutes instead of the initial 90 minutes on the last treatment.  It was in a millisecond that my eyelids felt heavy from the benedryl.  Got a dose of steroids too and other stuff.  Not sure I made any sense during my convo with Adam .... although I'm positive he followed my line of thinking.

Once the tox began, the icebags came on too ... both hands and feet (therefore no typing). This drip is for 3 hours.  About lunchtime, Adam took off and I got a sandwich and mac & cheese. 

I tried to check my messages and then my eyelids went down again.  zzzzzzz

I woke up right before 2:00 and Nurse Dawn was putting on the 3rd bag.  Whaaa?? She said I should be done by 2:30!  Way earlier than I thought, so I made that quick call to Marylee for my transportation.  She is on her way :)

Wish I would have brought my camera.  I'm in the corner penthouse suite.  This section is twice as big as the one I had last time.  Got a huge window that my recliner faces.  Even though it is cloudy, I can find solace and beauty as my eyes roam the canvas.  (I REALLY need to have another photo shoot soon. I'm just itching to snap away)

Well, I'll come back to this post and fix any errors and add to it! I'm beeping, ready to start packing up!

8:15pm - Matt is home from school.  I just finished eating "most" of my dinner.  So far, no side effects and I hope to go to work Friday.  Last time, the stuff hit Sunday and lasted a few days.  Counting on the new pain meds to help me get through it.

Thank you for hugging me, thinking of me, praying for me, encouraging me .... hmmm, sure is a lot of "me" in this statement.  It's not all about me.  Your walk in this life is just as eventful.  Be sure you allow me the opportunity to hug you, think of you, pray for you, encourage you.  ok? THAT'S what makes my heart happy!

A Couple of Photos

I got most of my stuff done tonight as I prepare to be "out-of-sorts" for a few days.  My goodie bag for tomorrow is ready and I'll be taking my laptop to keep in touch with the outside world.

There has been some requests to share photos of my beautiful round head. Here goes!

Sorry about the quality ... can't use flash when pointing the camera at a mirror!

Self Portrait

I like the scarves better than the hats and wig.  Finding fabulous ways to tie them. 

Gypsy Woman

Rocker Chick

I have no idea what I'm doing!  Last time I posed like this, it looked like I had arthritis ... lol

My Knight in Shining Armor

My brave husband shaved my head tonight.  Even though he didn't want to, he picked up the electric razor and did what I asked.  As my daughter said, I'm leaving my DNA all over the place and I had enough.   He was gentle and kind.  Since it was just the two of us, no pictures were done to document the event.  Perhaps I will be brave enough to share my bare head, perhaps I won't.  We didn't do anything creative, like shave designs or a mohawk ... nothing fun or exciting. 

I'm wearing a scarf tonight to get use to the feel. After wearing a hat all day, with my dead hair underneath, I absolutely pulled it off my head as soon as I got home from work. It was itchy, hot and bothersome. I tried on the borrowed wig tonight and need to get it fitted before I wear it. 

Me & my windshield wiper eyebrows

Mom was right, my head is perfectly round.  (she mentioned that I had a nice round head as a baby)

My hair will grow back.

And this canzer-thingy will not define me.

Neither will what I look like.


My knight in shining armor wrote me this poem when we were engaged. He tells me several times a day just how much he loves me ~

You Are

You are the Passion of my Romance and the Pillar of my Support

You calm me in the Storms of my Days

You smooth away my Coarseness

You run by my side and put me in Importance

You bring Surety to my Doubts

And bring Clarity when things seem Confused

You are the Green Pastures that He has led me to

You are my Palace which stands upon the Rock our Lord

You are my Jewel that is shined upon by the Light our Lord

You are my confidant, my best friend, my soulmate,

And I pray for the day that You are my Wife.

                   I Love You Carol Lynn Landon

Learning How to Tie Scarves

Shopping

Expressing Myself

This weekend went REALLY fast! Today, Christie, mom & I went to lunch, movie and shopping.  We laughed at "One for the Money" and bought more hats and scarfs.  I hated trying them on, as I was afraid of leaving bits of my hair in them (sorry folks). 

Christie brought over a razor for me...just not sure when I will be doing it, but know that it will be in the next few days.  My head feels weird.  It's like I hit the the back of my head on pavement. Or like I've been wearing a helmet all day and just took it off...that heavy feeling and my hair isn't connected to my scalp.

Matt's getting freaked out every time I show him a fist full of hair.  I think its kinda funny (not ha-ha funny, but strange funny).  When I wash my face tonight, I wonder if I'm going to wash my eyebrows off.  Now, that is what is STRANGE.  How are you going to know my expression? At least with a hat or wig, I look half way normal .... but, no eyebrows?  Oh, draw them on?  I'm the person who would touch my face and have it smeared all up on my forehead. 

My kids already make fun of my "windshield wiper" eyebrows.  Casey has a nice arch, Jasmine is working on hers too. 









Anyway, just wanted to vent a little on that topic.  Some day, this will all end and my hair will grow again.  Those who love me will still love me.

And the perk? I don't have razor stubble on my legs.  Smooooooth.....

Nutrients

I have been following Lil Blue Boo. Her blog is very creative and informative. Please read this post on Nutrients and incorporate it into your life.

http://www.lilblueboo.com/2012/01/a-lecture-from-dr-mom.html

It's Begun

A wonderful warm shower this morning ... and a fist full of hair.

Lookin' a little Junkie

The Gorge

This morning, I had my first INR Blood Test which measured 1.8.  Doc said I'm right on target (needs to be between 2-3).  She said I don't have to take the remainder of the shots (Framine) as the blood thinners are doing what it needs to do.  There are 2 shots left, which she wants me to save in case my numbers get low again.  I look like a "junkie" on my belly as the needle marks are leaving bruises.

She wants another test next Friday and then every 2 weeks.  She asked me if I was up to collecting my own numbers and adjusting my Coumidine accordingly.  Sure, why not?  I just call in for the results and if I'm unsure, I'll ask.  Taking 5mg now....either add to it or take it every other day, etc. 

I also asked to have them at the "satellite" medical center closer to work and she said yes.  It's getting old going downtown already!

Today is a good day.  Already dreading next Thursday, but I'm trying to just focus on today ... in the moment .... right?!

Matt came home from school last night very sick.  He doesn't want to spread his germs, so has taken precautions as much as possible.  Bummer :(

IT'S FRIDAY!  May your day be as awesome as you are!

You are Beautiful

Oncotype DX Revisited

Blue Ridge Parkway

During my follow-up appointment with Doc Esther, I mentioned that the surgeon had ordered the Oncotype DX test. (see post "The Day After - Jan 13") I had agreed to the test in a phone call with the agency and asked Doc if the results would make a difference in my treatments.  She said that I tested positive for all 3 areas that matter and the test would not provide anything new.  Doc recommended cancelling the order.  Okay, so it cost $4,100 ... I have no problems cancelling if the information is redundant.  Even tho they said I qualified for financial aid, I didn't have that in writing.  Makes me leary ~

I called to first find out if the test was already completed and therefore too late to cancel.  It would be complete within 24 hours and if I wanted to cancel it, my oncologist had to make the call.  Well, I'm the one who has to pay for it, why can't I be the one to cancel it? 

This morning, the Doc's office took care of it.  THANKFULLY.

Lesson learned - remember that there is a WHOLE lot of people on your "team".  Make sure the right hand knows what the left hand is doing.  It didn't dawn on me that my surgeon ordered a test to decide what the best treatment is .... get it?  The medical oncologist is the one who decides the treatment.  Light bulb!

All's well that ends well ~

PS  I feel good today.  :)