welcome

(photo of my sister's backyard fence...all photos are thru my lens)

This is just a way to express my thoughts as I walk this path and journey through as a breast canSURVIVOR.

Make cancer mad, just piss it off by misspelling it..... like "canzer"

In remission ~ December 2012

Invasive Moderately Differentiated Ductal Carcinoma T1cN0M0 Stage 1

Estrogen receptor-positive cancer - Here is how it began



Saturday, August 15, 2015

Not Again

No, really, it's not happening again.  Thank God!  But, boy, did I have a scare.

I found a new lump and finally called my oncologist and made an appointment.  They got me in same day.  This process (like last time) always happens incredibly fast.  So, I left work early on Thursday and made my way thru the familiar building.  I didn't tell family because I didn't want anyone to needlessly worry.

It was the nurse who did the initial exam and then said that she wanted Doc to see for herself.

Oh, Boy....

I laid there waiting.  Please, Lord, I don't want to go thru this again.

Doc came in and was amazed that I even found the lump.  She said it was "small".  I told her there was pain associated to it too.  I asked her "what do you think?"  Doc looked me in the eyes and softened her tone.  "You're original cancer was small and you've been taking Tamoxifen.  Very unlikely this is cancer.  I think it's scar tissue from the breast reduction.  But, let's go ahead and make sure."

So, I was scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound the next day.

Man, what a flashback that was sitting in the waiting room wearing my "ball gown".  The technician only smashed my left side (thankfully not a full mammogram).

Then the ultrasound.  I watched the screen as this technician meticulously measured the dark matter. Surprisingly, the tech said that she was giving the information to the radiologist who would give me the results before leaving the room.  Good, it's Friday and I didn't want to wait over the weekend for an answer.

So, after she was done, she left the room and again, I laid there remembering that first time (in the same room).  This time, I hung onto the words my oncologist had said the day before.  I wasn't going down that dark path in my mind.

NO! Not again!

And, sure enough, the radiologist confirmed that it was scar tissue that had balled itself up to make it feel like a pea-shaped hard lump.  He said that I would be doing this again in 6 months to monitor the area.

I don't think I can tell you how relieved I am.  You see, this had been detected for a couple months before I finally got the nerve up to make the appointment.

OK, OK, next time I won't wait as long.  And, yes, I'll tell my family beforehand instead of trying to "protect them".

PRAISE GOD! It's NOT back again!! PLEASE STAY THAT WAY!

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