welcome

(photo of my sister's backyard fence...all photos are thru my lens)

This is just a way to express my thoughts as I walk this path and journey through as a breast canSURVIVOR.

Make cancer mad, just piss it off by misspelling it..... like "canzer"

In remission ~ December 2012

Invasive Moderately Differentiated Ductal Carcinoma T1cN0M0 Stage 1

Estrogen receptor-positive cancer - Here is how it began



Thursday, August 30, 2012

Herception #12

Cuddled up with my soft blanket Jane made .... It's perfect for chemo treatment as the room is SO cold, even the waiting room is cold.  Today, I had Nurse Regina tend to me.  I feel "calm" in the familiar setting of the treatment clinic.  They take their duties seriously, yet they can tease one another. (I'm sure in their intense day, it relieves the stress). Watching them collect all the syringes, platex gloves, IV bags, etc ... the usual devices for taking vitals ... the laptops on their rolling table to go from patient to patient .... not to mention the chatter from nurse to nurse as they verify numbers and patient information for one another.  The chemo drug is based on patient's weight and other factors, and they whip out their calculators to figure out the cocktail.  The pharmacist makes the batch specially made for the individual.   That process gives me peace.

Herceptin ~ the estrogen blocker

I asked to talk to the pharmacist, Nicole and she popped over to answer the questions that I had regarding Anastrozole, the pill I have to take for 5 years.  By the way, she mentioned how some patients stop taking the pill after 3 years or even a few weeks.

Don't stop

She said that science shows that it should be taken for "at least" 5 years, if not longer.  I'll take her word for it.  I really, really, don't want to go through this again and if it helps, I'm doing it.

I shared with her the article I found and the side effect page.  She said that the news media can hype things to the extreme, so to not get overly stressed about the information.  It is a good idea to exercise and to make healthy food choices, but hormones that might be in meat products are not enough to cause the cancer to reoccur .... hmmmm.  The side effect page lists ALL possible side effects, but not all of them may come into play.  The most prevalent will be the sore joints and muscles and loss of hand grip.  If I do have problems with Anastrozole, I should call the doctor as there are other "sister" drugs that can be tried.  She told me to get supplemental calcium and Vitamin D.  And I am currently doing that ~

Just bringing my brain and emotions full circle.  You might not like to hear it but, 'none of us are getting out of here alive.' So, deal with it (at least that is what I'm telling myself) by ways that are important to you.

  • Change the things that I can change
  • Live your life to the fullest (wish I would have done that a long time ago)
  • Prioritize ~ what is important?
  • Oh my gosh, I really do need to declutter.  It is out of control, which makes me feel out of control
  • Make that bucket list and actually check things off that list


There is HOPE for each day.

I was recently reminded of Paul, when he was in prison.  And even though his surroundings were unbearable, he had JOY deep in his heart.  I sense that as the ultimate calm. There are many times that I feel this as well.  Sorry you see the other side of me at times ~ you get to be on my roller coaster ride of emotions .... well, I'm an imperfect human.... But one that is full of HOPE. 

My hope is not for myself, say like in a cure for my body. A hope that is so much more than that.   Sadly, many get their happiness only from those things around them in their circle of circumstances.  But once those circumstances changes to illness, or loss or (fill in the blank), our happiness disappears. 

We yearn for peace ... and such is the peace Jesus promises to all who trust in Him.

I am with you always,
even to the end of the age.
Matthew 28:20
 
 
This is the hope,
This is the joy,
This is the peace that passes all understanding
 
It is only through God's grace and His mercy
that we can behold these blessings!


4 comments:

  1. Hi, Carol. Thanks for leaving your comment on my blog. Yes, sometimes it is very hard to stay out of the "funky" part of town. I am finding that since I had my surgery and am on tamox, that I feel like I have PMS every day. I will stick with the program though because I would prefer PMS to a cancer recurrence!

    I love your reflection on Paul. So true. I should not complain!

    Have a great weekend. xo, Jen

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    1. I am here, friend, any time you want to talk ~

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  2. I haven't seen you for awhile! You look fantastic!!
    You have an amazing attitude and you are an inspiration to so many people!!
    God Bless!
    Tonya

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    1. Ah, shucks! Hope you and yours had a fantastic summer and ready for the school season! Stop on over to say hi, or I'm sure we will run into each other in the hall :)

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